wow today was excitingly boring.

to the fact that i'm not sure of what to type in here.

usually even its kinda boring i was able to make them at least sound a bit better?

well maybe not for today.

cos its wayyyyyyyyyyy boring.

oh want me to talk about me going friday prayers?

-_-

i had made a pretty big accomplishment today!

and i'm happy about it!:D

i coded a program jsut by myself!

hehe!

though it's super simple till the fact that Lutfi and Hafiz will think it as nose shit.

its a big deal for me! heh.

yay!

haha.

can't wait for tomorrow!

i want more coding!

oh yeah just so people realise.

i'm definitely getting wayyyy better.

i'm normal today.

-_-.

also!

i'm so going to join SAFRA's air rifle club.

i just don't know why but i love things involving projectiles.

so i will be shooting a 0.177 calibre rifle till May nxt year.

after that i wanna quickly move on to smallbore rifles shooting 0.22 calibre rifles.

moreover shooting at Old Chua Chu Kang will be better since its nearer as compared to Yishun.

i can't wait to get my certificate of proficiency.

my gateway to weapons handling.

first things first i need to reset and redo my financial planning cos the previous one is for guitar playing.

this would be for air rifle.

$75 annual membership.

$55 one time weapons handling course exluding $6.40 for the range.

$8 for the 0.177 with 500 of them in a tin.

$1 for target faces.

$2 for range with 2 hour duration.

$2 for rifle with 2 hour duration.

i wonder why the rifle loan is so cheap.

hah.

omg i'm so having chills.

just as i thought today would be a great day for me,

my father just made me took a 180 degree turn towards negativity.

it was just because of the headache that i got scolded.

i was like rushing throught the Isyak prayer cos I felt really heavy.

then he thought I'm just plain lazy.

so he just scolded me for all the wrong reason.

as always.

then i kinda tried to defend myself from his scolding.

its kinda my fault too cos i raised my voice a bit,

but i'm just so similar to an amplifier turned to maximum volume.

so my voice kinda reverberated throughout the house.

it was only a slight raising of the voice.

so he got more angry.

i'm sorry about that.

but i won't forget that sentence you blurted out to me, ayah.

if you really want to do it to me, do it.

i don't really want to live anymore with people like you walking around.

did i mention there is no moment that i told myself i adore you?

all these while, its only pure respect from me to you.

maybe a bit of love involved but its pretty near to nonexistant.

but heck,

i can't take this kind of shit anymore.

so i'll just pretend he didn't say it and prop myself up cos its kinda affecting the people around me.

but still i wish i had someone to talk to.

SOMEONE i really trust.

so yeah i'll just shrug it off and force myself to get better.

but it was definitely something that really hit me hard.

and i cried.

i BLOODY CRIED.

as always,

school was really enjoyable with me.

now suddenly i feel home is hell.

its supposed to be heaven i will remind myself sooner or later.

moreover with GEMS today.

i totally cheered up.

i was pretty normal today.

oh sorry to the people who smsed me i didn't reply cos i don't wanna bring my phone just now.

i was acting like a log in the train just now.

i thought of what had been affecting me lately.

so i thought maybe these are the things that were affecting me.

1)Studies. Frankly speaking I feel that getting 3.9 for GPA sucks. Because that's when people start to put high expectations on you. It gets worse when you get a man as a father who just wouldn't appreciate the amount of dedication his child had put into his studies. Sometimes i felt like telling you that I hate you but I'll just get in more trouble so why bother.

2)The people around me. I just don't know why but i kept on comparing myself with other people especially my brother. The thing is i will always lose out when being compared to him. And it just drop my moral. And it sucks. But I feel that I'm just being stupid 'cos at leat I got full limbs and not physically and mentally challenged so I should always be thankful to GOD. Maybe there is some hidden meaning why GOD gave me him for a father. I wish I could figure out the "blessing in disguise".

3)I'm afraid to lose people who I really care about. Or maybe specifically...nvm. 

actually there's more but i don't feel typing them out.

and now i just couldn't decide to go for smallbore shooting, air rifle or maybe IPSC.

the good thing about IPSC is tht i can run around shooting things as opposed to shooting while standing or proning.

hmmph i guess i'll just for the club to reply to my mail? 

so much for my "i'm getting better".

i suck.

i lied.

i said i'm doing better when i'm not.

i lied to Lutfi.

but i'll call myself lucky to have friends who will make me smile even though i don't feel like it.

even though i only smiled 10% of the time today.

i don't even know if they are sincere smiles.

thnx Hui Yin for playfully strangling me.

i hope you will do harder next time till death.

i'm sorry Abg Aim for replying very short messages.

its a surprise you can actually sense that something is wrong.

thnx for trying to make me talk.

but i just can't.

i don't know what's affecting me.

thnx lutfi for your help when i'm in need.

i'm sorry.

i appreciate your advice.

sorry about the conversation just now when i talked like a zombie.

i just couldn't think straight.

btw,

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY LUTFI.

now i've made my choice.

i gonna sign up for air rifle.

yeah sign up for it.

so if i were to get upset i'll just shoot myself with pellets.

if i just wanna sleep forever i'll just shoot and pray it penetrates me.

actually the jugular vein in the neck is the the sure penetrate area.

what kind of shit am i talking about.

oh wateva i don't need to ask myself this kind of shit anymore.

i fucking screwed everything up.

i thought last week was just a random weird stupid week.

but somehow the fucking thing which i don't really know exactly what it is spilled to this week.

i'm just getting worse by the second.

now everybody asked me why i've been in that kind of attitude.

i just couldn't joke anymore.

i bloody lost my humor and now they will think i'm actually just a bloody boring moron.

i'm such a joke.

i wonder why i'm here when all i can do is nothing!

i'm so losing it right now.

all along i thought i was strong enough to withstand all this.

but days came like bombs on me destroying the every emotional strength i got.

yeah i'm in need of emotional support.

seriously the above sentence is by me.

the useless guy who will just screw everything up.

and now i think i'm losing the person i NEEDED.

i feel like giving up everything that i had always loved.

just wanna do nothing.

just sit in the corner and fucking do nothing.

hope i'll just get older and older and then when i realised it i had my last breath.

people don't even care about me anyway.

what?

i get 3.9 for my GPA.

so fucking what.

he just acted as if its not a big deal.

its a bloody freaking big deal for me cos its a bloody first semester for me in poly.

and i FUCKING NEED THE MOTIVATION.

well i might be wrong cos maybe he thinks thats the best motivation he can get for me.

i'm useless remember?

i'm just a nobody.

an ass.

why am i still here?

i really hope everything will turn out ok sooner or later.

if not...

well. 

people who don't read my blog won't know about this.

cos a smile will always be plastered on my face.

its just me.

no matter what emotion i'm in, its always about smiling.

be it a sad smile, sincere smile or sly smile.

finally.

i'm discharged.

i don't need to go for hospital appointments already.

its a relief.

i dun really like going there cos of the long queues.

so it all ends just now.

though it kinda freak me that the doctor said my back muscles on the left side of my body is more muscular than the right side.

she was like "what sport do you take part in? Your back muscles very big on the left leh.."

weird.

maybe its cos of archery.

but its only 24 pounds?

ah dunno ah.

btw i feel like registering for air rifle instead of archery.

i need more time to think i guess.

and i never felt that blur in my life as that in the morning just now.

my mum was buying bread.

then there's kaya bun etc...

then i saw this bread its called "roti kosong".

i stupidly asked my mum what flavour is roti kosong.

DAMN IT SO BLUR AIYOO!

the consequences of making me wake up so early on weekends lah!

ishishish.

here's one of my blur conversation.

Epiphone: Me.

Blackxiber: Lutfi.

Syn Azhar: Hafiz.

tomorrow i HAVE to go to madrasah.

i mean last three weeks.

awww.

wait actually i don't really care.

haha.

i'm close to nobody except maybe Shah and Zainal.

and i can easily meet up with Shah at SP.

so yeah again i don't really feel the heartache to "graduate".

now suddenly i'm thinking why i felt like nothing when graduating from SAPS.

and now i'm so into designing.

like paintjobs for guitars.

i dun want to show my designs heh.

i wonder how i managed to chalk out 5 designs so easily.

well maybe its pretty easy when you get proper inspirations or wat.

oh and attaching lights on the guitars is the IN thing now.

hah Hafiz how bout attaching a high beam light at the headstock?

heh.

my last appointment with the hospital would be tomorrow.

i mentioned about it last time.

quite long ago.

i dun really feel like repeating it again.

if everything goes well i don't need another appointment!

i hope.

suddenly i had this feeling of wanting to shoot.

i really had been missing it a lot.

well maybe after NS or wat i'll go some clubs to shoot or wat..

eh shoot wait.

i need to buy a bow.

damn it.

shit.

i hope i can maintain my form until then.

LOL its actually kinda impossible really since I haven't been shooting for quite a long time.

my passion extinguish by the asshole fucker.

this few days in the morning my voice had been very raspy.

i mean its nt weird that i'm having raspy voice in the morning.

its always like that.

but nowadays the raspiness really got more raspy.

i hope i don't turn into a raspberry soon.

i wonder why she had been quiet lately.

did i dissapoint you?

btw listen to this song carefully.

i really love the lyric.

so meaningful.

thnx to Nigel for telling me about this song.

NICE!

i love this band man!

oh and the guitar.

the red one is SG i think.

hafiz confirm? heh.

and that's a confirmed Fender bass! :D

hmm.

oh that keyboard btw is a JUNO G!

I KNOW THE KEYBOARD!

I PLAYED IT BEFORE!

haha. lol big deal.

super high aggresives lah the keyboard.

price also aggresive.

2.3k at Swee Lee.

hah.

oh did i mention before i really love SP CD library?

they got so much variety of CDs.

ranging from 1940s to current.

its a damn huge collection i'm so amused and amazed.

amused and amazed.

haha or wat!

what a cold day today.

i was shivering the whole day.

or is it because i'm having a mild fever?

oh i dunno.

or maybe i don't care.

structured programming started today.

it was cancelled last week cos the lecturer couldn't make it due to some meetings(?)..

so it was all about rushing through the powerpoint slides.

codeblock..

cool program.

i like it.

*note: like..NOT LOVE.*

figure out wat i mean.

i'm quite pissed that i got 4/5 for the first quiz.

i wanted full marks considering it hadn't gone so difficult yet.

haiz.

must really work hard for 2nd quiz.

even though its only 5 marks.

its a big deal for ME.

i want to maintain my 3.8 GPA.

or maybe raise it.

we(the usual group, Hui Yin, Siva, Jolene, Nigel and me) were talking about our GEMS.

Hui Yin and Siva are in the same module..

it's a pretty cool course i can say.

like you can really make out what a person's personality is like without the need to really know them.

so i was asking which personality group i belong to.

there were options a to d.

and Siva said e.

i was like "huh?wth?"

then he continued..

ur personality is undefined.

*i remained confused*

then i gt to know that they already knew the kind of person i am.

very unexpected.

like super extremes.

haha.

sad to the core.

pissed to the core.

happy to the core.

everything relating to emotions for me is "to the core".

and i dun like it actually.

its con's outweigh its pros.

then there i was also practising what i learn in my GEM.

i looked straight into people's eye when talking to them.

and the group finds it rather disturbing.

hah i'll consider whether to continue it or not.

piercing stare they say eh?

nowadays i wonder why i opened up quite a lot to Hui Yin.

i dunno is it because i trusted her so much?

it is a mistake?

i hope not.

yeah maybe cos i trust her.

but somehow i felt guilty.

cos i told someone who is just a friend my "secrets" instead of the someone i really like.

oh man whats wrong with me nowadays.

its always about me doing something then suddenly realise it might not be a good idea after all.

and sorry Hui Yin if my blocking attempt from you smacking me hurt your finger.

heh.

sorrrrry. :D

another wonderful GEMS lecture.

i dig it.

after school went for the sex/STD talk with Siva, his friend and Hui Yin.

it was hilarious.

but somehow sometimes i felt the people there aren't mature.

they were laughing at things they shouldn't be laughing about. 

i guess they wouldn't be laughing when the real thing hits them.

helping Hui Yin with the survey was hilarious.

it's really fun being with her frankly speaking.

and i never felt that cheerful as compared to the days before which was filled more with downs than ups..

sometimes people who can really make you feel contented is just in front of you..

but somehow you just don't realise.

after GEMS went out with Hafiz to Davis's guitars and then to Swee Lee.

i met the real face behind the nick subversion(a forumer from soft.com.sg).

he's actually Hafiz's cousin.

and the hilarious part is that, i had been following his blog without knowing the blog owner is him.

oh did i mention we saw Aliff from Putra?

haha not that i saw him upfront cos when i walk i look straight ahead.

so only when Hafiz mention i will turn around and look out.

i only saw his long curly hair.

hah.

i should be more alert when heading to Davis/Swee Lee.

just now i tried my DREAM GUITAR! OMG!

haha though i couldn't try it thru an amp,

i tried it acoustically.

its weight is the same as my GAX.

hmm cool guitar.

i LOVE it. 

if i were to have a girlfriend,

the guitar would be the 2nd thing i were to love most.

well of cos after those who i'm "required" to love.

hah figure out wat i mean.

and i'm nt getting it during the sale nxt year.

what "subversion" pointed out was indeed agreeable.

i came fully prepared for the freakingly boring maths lecture.

people were so awwed by the amount of candies i had in my pencil box.

am i cool or wat.

hah.

seriously it kinda sucks to have 4 hrs of maths on tuesday.

make it worse with him as the lecturer.

but somehow the guys had fun making fun of Benjamin today.

yeah it was like the whole class against him.

haha even Siva made fun of him.

that would be rare.

it started during the PEEE practical.

i've done my practical so i was sitting around watching/helping other people with their transistors and LDRs.

then came Ben keep begging me to let him play my GTR2.

so i let him play it.

soon he was having fun, well before i saboed him and called for lecturer saying he's disturbing me from doing my practical.

it was so damn hilarious.

then someone(forgot who) added that he's wearing slippers when hes not allowed to.

haha it was so amusing to see him get warnings.

the off to DE.

he went to the toilet leaving his shoebag with Mustafa and Joe.

so they took advantage.

Mus put leaves and flowers in his socks and shoes while Joe put a BIG rock in his shoebag.

haha!

it was so funny watching him putting his hands into the socks trying to take out the leaves.

then i was like "Wah Sherlyn(his gf..did i spell it correctly? haha) gave you nice flowers eh?"

lol.

the DE lecturer went wide-eyed to see a lot of leaves and flowers in the lecture room.

lol!

pity Ben ah.

oh ya!

tomorrow will be a Nike sale's day at SP!

i wanna buy a pair of running shoes!!

the discounts might go as much as 60% off!

omg why are they suddenly so good.

even the previous G2000 sale was not as generous as them.

and tomorrow there's sex talk for the year 1s.

damn it.

i had it when the email says that its compulsary for everyone to go.

and i gt another email saying class leaders have no reason not to go.

fuck.

ass.

maths just spoil the day.

it fucking sucks.

the lecturer sucks.

complax number sucks.

damn it.

what a fucking ass.

but i'm glad for DE though.

i'm improved!

i got 81 for the DE exam paper..

i improved by 13 marks!

weee!

heh.

i dun sound like a 17 year old eh?

it was a tiresome day.

it was the first time i slept in the library.

i was messaging lutfi then halfway through i dozed off.

LOL.

when i woke up i only thumbed in 1/4 of the message.

heh.

was that tired.

i dun even noe wat i was punching in cos i was putting my head on the table while pressing the buttons without seeing the screen.

i was damn ecstatic about the fact the all my circuits are working perfectly.

now the next project would be about a car with sensors?

err?

but right before that will be an assessment interview.

downright full of shit.

finished school at 5.15 today.

i thought it would be 5 pm so i was so confident telling hafiz i will be out from around the same time.

then the lecturer said she will only let us go at 5.15.

i was so damn ticked.

went to LOT 1 with the guys(being Hafiz and Lutfi).

Hafiz bought me a fedora!

haha thnx for the bdae present eh?

lol two items and the receipt is that long?

oh i think i should say about the incident in the MRT which i told the guys too.

hah.

its rather fun for me but at the same time i'm so disgusted at how insecure some people are.

i was in the MRT.

with this couple.

i think they would be sec 4s considering the fact they wear uniforms and look like sec 4s(o.0).

then girl kept on stealing glances at me.

wat a bitch.

i just pretended to not notice anything.

apparently this guy realised it so he started ushering her into the nxt carriage.

haha i was laughing in my heart so ZOMGSOFUNNYMAN!

fucker guy.

so insecure. haha.

i dun like stealing lah dey.

i'm not interested in this kind of things ah.

not like some people....

hmm wonder who.

what a day full of ups and downs eh?

hah.

ass.

Oh did i mention i love the SP CD collection? LOLLOLLOL! :DDDD

today i grew 1 year older.

but lol i don't seem to act like a 17 year old.

heh.

this birthday was definitely one of my most memorable birthdays.

no offence.

but i feel that having a birthday cake is nothing.

i'll prefer it when people show that they care.

the presents are just bonuses.

i'm really happy enough when people wish me happy birthday.

some people or maybe one to be specific bothered to say it two times.

heh.

i want to see hoodie yeah?!

i wanna thank my mum and bro for giving "bonuses".

hah.

from my mum! =D initially i was peeling the wrapper carefully cos i wanna take a picture of the wrapping but somehow i ripped everything off. heh. so yeah that explains the tear.

the content of the purple wrapper! i love this perfume so much. three bursts of spray is all you will ever need.

then about noon,

i went out with my brother to bugis street to buy some t shirts.

i'm so into vintage.

haha.

i got myself 4 t shirts at the price of $53 after negotiations.

i didnt even know customers can actually nego.

lol.

actually my brother wanted to nego more but he said he kinda pity the sellers.

lol.

right now i'm eyeing a black collar shirt from a shop at the bugis street.

its so nice.

but it costs quite a bomb at $49.

if i were to have a higher budget for this month i would had bought it.

maybe nxt mth.

I HOPE I CAN GET IT!

haha.

then after the shopping spree,

my brother brought me to Swensen's to have our meals.

it was his birthday treat for me.

i had this chicken thingy,

the name just escape my mind.

dam it wats the name..

gosh.

never mind that..cos it was DELICIOUS!

haha.

my brother initially scare the crap out of me cos he said the two burgers (which doesnt look like burgers at all in a good way) would be very big for me.

then i saw it i was like..

ye ele..so easy to finish.

hahaha!

frankly i dunno why but my appetite had been increasing drastically.

i finished the food before my brother for the very first time of my life.

but i wonder why they put US flag instead of SG's.

i mean fine Swensen's are from the US..but this is SG isn't it?

oh nvm.

i saw this server by the counter,

omg she look so similar to my KL cousin Puteri.

omg i tot it was her.

lol.

thnx abg aim for the treat eh.

there will be a family bbq with my mother's twin sister's family on 14th November!

yay!

i can't wait.

oh fyi, my mum has an identical twin.

and there's gonna be a cake which will look like a book(edited: initially put cake...a cake which look like a cake..-_-) to celebrate October and November babies.

=D

then then there will be a steamboat session at Seoul Garden sometime after the bbq!

omg did i just say session?

the hell?

ooops its 12.42am i guess i have to go now.

i'm now 17 years and 42 mins old.

-_-.

a pretty fast day for me.

LITERALLY.

did the soldering for my last board a.k.a comparator board.

frankly speaking..

maybe its cos of the 7 weeks break,

my worksmanship on the board was so bad.

never before did the solder spill on other tracks...

but somehow it happened today.

its pretty troublesome to clean the "mess".

if i were want to be a guitar luthier,

i must not be have bad soldering skills!

LOL.

can i say being a luthier is my backup career plan?

haha.

lol my wild dreams are coming back.

before the soldering..was lazy to take the "aftermath". well its not that bad actually. as compared to the first time i tried soldering. hah.

then after a painstaking half and hour of soldering, I moved on to do the IE reflective journal dued next week. i just wrote some relevant stuff and managed to easily reach the half page mark. to be more specific, i wrote about more than a page.

wanted to do some studying for PEEE and Maths..

but i think the soldering made me go high so i felt lazy to revise.

hah.

so it was race day.

yeah played the GTR2.

a super accurate mimick of real life race driving.

it took me over an hour to figure out settings and strategy.

damn it was a difficult game to play.

as stated by reviewers,

playing the game requires a steep learning curve but when used to it..

its pretty exhilarating.

yeah seriously after i know the secrets of this game.

mark today as the first time i'm teaching my bro how to race in GTR2.

-_-.

oh yeah my father,

joke of the day.

i was frustrated about skidding,

so i went up to my dad to ask how he take tight corners because he drives a manual car.

Me: Ayah, when you drive your car, do you drop the gear or apply brakes first?

My dad: *Does the virtual driving motion*

My dad: Erm..eh...alamak i forgot ah...how eh?

Me: *wide-eyed*

maybe its just an experienced driver's instinct to not take notice what he does while driving.

it all comes with a snap of the finger.

LOL.

oh man now i find it scary to trust him driving.

haha joking!

but now,

after a few frustrating skids and crashes.

i made it.

i even bothered to write down the necessary steps needed.

lol.

anyone who wants to try this game tell me.

i'll borrow the disc.

and heres a cornering guide.

1)Apply brakes hard when approaching a turn. IMPT NOTE: NEVER ATTEMPT TO STEER LEFT OR RIGHT.

2)Depress clutch and then shift to 2nd gear.

3)Reduce speed to about 80KM/H(yeah it was that slow..imagine going from 236KM/H to 80KM/H..brakes gone wild eh?) and take the turn. IMPT NOTE: ALWAYS STEER SMOOTHLY. NEVER JERK THE STEERING WHEEL.

4)While clearing the curve, accelerate and shift to gear three.

5)After clearing, shift gear as per normal.

Below are some screenshots of the game.

At the pit stop.

My Ferrari Modena. (((=

One of my awful first races..this time i forgot to clutch before shifting so my engine blew. haha..actually before the smoke there was fire. exhilarating much?

hey hey! 

i'm back. 

from my hiatus that is. 

"hiatus". 

should make another one that lasts for 2 weeks.. 

haha i noe i'm crazy giler. -__- 

during hols, 2 weeks without anyone. 

no techies.. 

omg i dun think i will make it. 

haha. 

i will be screaming "omg my phone!!! MSN!!!". 

so here comes the brief updates about few days ago. 

12th Oct. 

the day before school starts. 

my laptop hard disk drive crashed. 

so damned. 

actually i didn't go hiatus because of my laptop. 

i still got a dekstop. 

13th Oct. 

First day of school for the new semester. 

everybody are having holiday hangovers. 

pretty unhappy about the change of lecturers for TCS and Engineering Math. 

i mean like last sem's lecturers were at least better. 

the maths lecturer was horrible. 

it was only 15 mins into the lesson and i'm already acting like a woodpecker. 

14th Oct.

got my results of PEEE and E. Maths. 

well i have to say that i improved quite a bit. 

got A for PEEE and B+ for Maths. 

not surprising actually considering the fact that Maths is my weakest subject. 

so now i have 3 A's and 2 B+. 

Hope DE will be of a good news for me. 

after that went to Acer HQ but wasted my bloody time because the service hours were over. went back home with black face. 

i need my laptop cos on Thursday bcos there's structure programming. 

15th Oct 

very first session at GEMS. 

its was VERY fun. 

somehow i managed to adapt to different people so easily. 

its only the first lesson i'm like joking with the whole class already. 

also we had to do this activity involving different kinds of handshakes. 

and since there's 6 guys and 15 girls. 

i had no choice but err..shake their hands too? 

oh did i mention the girls playing scissors, paper and stone to get me? 

omg it was DAMN SCARY. 

we were supposed to group ourselves. 

and as usual guys will always be slacking around. 

since there should be 5 in a group, one guy will be left out.

then suddenly two groups of girls came to me and started pulling at me to join their group. 

and cos they cannot resolve the problem, they did the scissors, paper, stone method. 

i felt SO cheap. 

after the lesson, went straight to Acer HQ again. 

finally was able to drop off my laptop and went home like i just lost my girlfriend. heh. 

16th Oct 

lucky for me, structured programming was cancelled. 

so went to Marina Square to buy my things. 

yeah mark this date for my full swing makeover. 

nt sure if it really is actually. 

bought a new bag cos i'm sick of strained shoulders carrying the laptop in a sling bag. 

bought a belt cos i'm always borrowing from my brother. 

like Hui Yin said, i was very jialat. 

and lol funny, i got so attracted to the Ripcurl socks i bought it hah. 

not revealing how much i spent. 

my bro commented, "whooah leh tahan ko eh". 

i need to counter my habit of being so "shy" and not buy things for myself. 

17th Oct (Which was pretty much yesterday) 

again, structured programming was cancelled. 

so it was home sweet home for me at 10 am. 

also got an sms from Acer that my laptop was ready. 

i was pleasantly surprised at how efficient the technicians work. 

they said the estimated collection date would be 22/10. 

but they got it ready just two days after i sent it in. 

Kudos Acer guys. 

so after Friday prayers, went straight to Acer HQ to collect my lappy. 

then off to Bugis Junction. 

just to buy a hoodie. 

omg it was so difficult to find a nice and affordable one. 

i liked the one from FleshImp but there's only a size left. 

so it seems like Topman was the only way. 

another reason for buying there was because of the sale. 

and so now I'm at home trying to get programs installed. 

and i just couldn't take the hoodie off oh damn it. 

oh ya did i say i'm gonna ponteng madrasah this Sunday cos i wanna go out with my bro?

today.
the new semester begins.
and i have a goal in mind.
but nevertheless, i wanna have fun.
yeap.
FUN.
i need a new wardrobe.
not want.
its a need.

i got to prop myself up.
and i know i can do it.
well at least i don't look at the ground as i walk nowadays.
but i don't go looking at girls.
haha.
but if i were to see them, i'll just say in my heart that they are good looking but after that i'll just forget about what i thought a few seconds before.
cos there will only be this ONE person i will like.
and i'm not unfaithful.
least did i expect myself to like her.
and to be close.

oh well.
still, i don't really like what had been happening this week.
i wish i could talk it out but i don't want to trouble people.
so,
I'M TAKING A BREAK FROM THE INTERNET.
THE NEED TO REGAIN MY CONSENSUS.
i wish i could also just switch off my phone and not reply to any smses or calls like last time.
but heck school started and moreover lecturers will always need to call me.
somehow.
and its irritating.
so yeah.
it will be the only way.
min or max would be 1 week.
and to Hafiz, i guess our plan for this week might have to be canceled cos i'm rather busy.
do give me a buzz or msg to confirm if u wan to.

oh did i say this?
i'm suddenly obsessed with songs that contains dive bombs.
go figure out.
usually electrorock songs has it.
not really sure of it.

me very sorry about yesterday's post.

i totally lost myself.

it might be the mounting pressure on me.

haiz.

school will be starting very soon.

13th october.

i feel lazy.

who doesn't.

haha.

went out for the "last" time with lutfi and hafiz before we get so busy we couldn't even go out.

i'm anticipating so much project.

typical poly days.

but at least i love my timetable.

i saw the pjc's timetable.

i instantly and involuntarily said "wah fuck no life".

lol!

the 1 year difference in graduation really makes jc life so hectic.

i want this new semester to be a good one.

well nt only this semester.

i want EVERY semester to be good.

i really want to get the overseas attachment.

but at the same time i wanna have fun.

that's why we had that planned eh hafiz?

LOL.

i'm so gonna get bad.

merayap kamu!

its also one of the reasons i quitted SPAC.

i couldn't spend time with friends on sat.

over ass members?

yeah make that a reason too.

btw hafiz hope you can keep coming for gym sessions.

nnti like last time.

hahah!

me sorry about previous post again.

DAMN IT!

i forgot!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ASRAF!

lol.

sorry ah.

yesterday wanna wish you bdae i very emo.

LOL.

watch this.

i'll just keep it short.

mum, i don't like it  when you said that i kept wanna buy clothes.

WAIT.

HALT.

since when did i buy clothes?

isn't it a fact that 80% of the clothes i have was passed down from bro?

i can't even really get my own clothes.

not trying to whine.

but my pocket money is like 2/3 of bro.

and yet i have to use my own money to buy my things.

ok what am i talking about.

i should be happy with what i got.

well i think its because of the fact that people say i have bad dressing sense..

when i don't even get to OWN my OWN clothes.

seriously, it sucks to be the youngest.

it will be like..

hmm your bro spends like an ass.

so i'll have to cut so its really just enough.

and you're getting the perfectly just enough pocket money.

and yet they don't buy me clothes.

gosh.

i don't like this fucking sort of things.

so why don't you just dump me by the roadside.

you don't need me anyway.

i'm JEALOUS.

FUCKING GET IT?

ironically i'm still smiling at my bro when get comes home.

well i guess its because its not his fault that he's good looking or wat while i'm just the direct opposite.

and i dunno why i'm being like this.

i'm getting worse and worse everyday.

i get cranky so easily.

i can't even be as fun as i was in the past.

damn it i don't even like being in this world anymore.

my self esteem is really going down the steep slopes.

i think people should just stop trusting my feelings.

i'm always happy on the outside but sad in the inside.

watching CNA now,

they were talking about GCE 'O' Level students.

it was basically how some good parents are able to motivate their kids by just writing a simple note.

i remembered that time when Cikgu Mislimah bothered to write everyone a note.

she even included some candies and a blue pen with the note.

Kepada Rahman,

Saya amat yakin yang kamu akan menjadi seorang yang berjaya di masa hadapan. Teruskan prestasi kamu yang hebat!

Salam Sayang,

Cikgu Mis

You are a wonderful student.

I will never lose that small green note which motivated me more than the useless Adam Khoo workshop.

thank you Cikgu Mis.

wish my parents are as caring as you.

so yeah,

watched Eagle Eye just now.

i had never done this before.

but i'm going to rate it 10/10.

seriously.

its a must watch.

though its rather degrading that a computer can fool humans.

lol.

i dun wanna say anything more about it cos it will spoil the plot.

:D

i'm planning to watch it again sometime.

anyone on it?

suddenly i felt so kiasu waiting at the SAS portal to register for GEMS.

haha.

i just stared at the computer screen from 1.50pm.

and my registration starts at 2.00pm

-_-.

but i guess i had to do it.

cos places run out fast.

i chose non-verbal communication a.k.a body language.

when i applied for it, there were 67 out of 80 places left.

by the time i finished applying.

6 places were left.

see what i mean?

lol.

tomorrow i might have to say goodbye to my watch.

cos i'm sending it the shop to change the straps.

but i also have this urge to actually trade in the watch and buy a new one.

there's this trade-your-old-adidas-watch-for-a-new-one promotion.

but i'm nt sure if its still around.

yeah i'll end here.

i'm having writer's block.

ADIOS.

first of all.

hafiz your hair very cool.

HAHA.

ok lah it will be nicer if you apply your wax.

hehheh.

second of all(o.O),

i had a very nice victory today!

wooo!

haha.

well in age of empires of course.

they cant even build a damn bloody dock so that they can spill their warriors onto my land..

well i kinda feel guilty cos everytime they tried to build a dock, my ships will bombard.

haha.

ok i wanna take my words back.

the enemy is sooo stupid.

lol.

if only i can start my own empire and be filthy rich like just now.

omg i'm gettin chills abt it haha.

hmmm one cow in real life would cost around 1.5k as told by my dad. so if i had 20 cows. omg haha! rich lahh! lol. cute or not my cows? i love them a lot.-__-

being the typical me, i love destroying people's hardwork. but then i dun have a choice rite? i want to win.(: btw i'm terribly sorry to the innocent bulls(or is it ox?) that were killed during the war. Maaf zahir batin nyer kerbau-karbau sekalian? Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri :D. Suddenly i'm thinking if rendang kerbau is a possibility. RIP to the warriors who served my empire well.

lol from 195 population till 147 left. haha shows the size of the army the enemy has.

and and and~!

my brother bought this cool sling bag just now which got my attention.

nt only the bag got my attention,

the paper bag which the bag was put in attracted my attention too!

see see!

its like as if people would be oblivious about the fact that its a huge paper bag. -_-

the typical weird(?) things heeren shops do.

i'm so going there soon, anyone on it? lol.

oh oh!

talking about bags(-_-),

i managed to convince my mum to let me savour a bag of her hari raya goodie bag for kids.

omg i'm so proud of myself.

LOL.

its rare to be able to convince my parents about something.

really!

also!

watch this video!

its very hilarious!

seriously!

haha they were annoying people making the music video but it turned out very entertaining!

kudos 2pointoneproductions!

lol.

ok sorry that i have insert some negativity here.

but i gotta get this straight.

yeah seriously.

my blog has this thing called website tracker.

i do know who went into my blog.

who tagged(:D) at my blog everything.

just with a click of the mouse.

:DD.

am i secretive enough?

AM I FUN?!

so i'll just pretend i dunno who were the "anonymous" taggers..

some of them will be "Passerby", "Coward" etc..

the picture below is a GPS map showing where IP addresses came from.

surprise surprise its like people who read my blog came from every part of SG. o.0

and there's 2 from Japan cos i wrote abt Park Sun Hyun(?? lol?)

so yeah that's why that time i was so confident about the anonymous tagger eh lutfi?

haha!

but seriously,

i dun mind people reading my blog.

even those whom i least expect to read my blog i dun mind.

well as long as people dun do funny things at my blog.

well except for this person of cos.

please.

go away.

u dun need to keep urself updated with my life.

heartwreching for me but i have to say it.

i dun need you.

u have no idea how much damage u caused me.

i had enough of it.

you got a boyfie.

waste your time and read my blog?

why bother?

but still, i'll just regard you as a fren.

the reason i didn't say, FUCK OFF.

so well people.

dun need to use aliases.

1 secret out.

∞ to go. :D

haha!

err ok i dunno why i haha-ed.

well maybe i'm feeling happy?

i dunno.

i'm so done with my financial organisation.

wow chim lah rahman.

-_-.

finally i've decided wat to buy.

1)black fedora.(causeway pt lah gitu eh)

2)trucker/army cap.

3)black hoodie w/ optional white lining(MUST!!!)haha

4)printed shirts.

5)straight jeans and skinnies?

6)black and white specs(why b&w? haha freak)

7)WHITE watch!hahahah

8)hmm ehem Cherry Burst or Ebony Epiphone DOT..oops shit i said it.

9)Hafiz's DS-1 Distortion Pedal..LOL u better sell me haha..

10)Marshall MG Series or Roland Cube 20/30X amp.

hehe.

oh ya!

tml will be going to buy Moving Rubber with hafiz!

hhaha!

yay can do hair experiments lahh!!

(:

and to some of the barbers out there..

i have no more trust in u guys anymore!

HAHAHHA.

lol.

on final note, what the fuck is wrong with some people?

or is it me always trying to inject some negativity?

oh well.

another triviva: I'm a supporter of Epiphone and Ibanez guitars, Roland and Marshall amplifiers and Seymour Duncan Pickups. (: and i had been fiddling with the graphic equalisers in windows media player to get the sounds i want. (:

another day out for raya...

and sure my stamina in raya-ing is just so low i got sick of it immediately.

well but at least my dad gave a green light for t-shirts and jeans.

ok maybe i still wore the baju kurung since my brother wore it too,

and i dun wanna look like an odd one out in the family.

well the fun part is all about babies!

haha okk maybe only a baby cos there's only one.

she's actually my cousin's bro(who is my cousin also) wife's daughter who is his daughter too.

and well, she's my nephew then..-_-

VERY VERY TEMBAM.

it was the first time i carried her she was omg so snuggly in my arms so ALAMAK aiyooo ama aiyoo!

omg i totally dig my brother's wax..

omg did i just used that word?

back to topic..

nt earwax!

hair wax..

the gabsy rubber..

i love it..

haha now i can do the hair draped over the forehead hairstyle a.k.a emo.

lol.

for just now i did spike..

althought my front cannot make it cos its too long..

ok so yesterday i did say that i love my new timetable.

yeah at least its better than last sem..

i think.

thought i dun really like the idea of starting sch at 1.30pm on thursdays..

but i understand that lecturers might be busy for other classes..

so that's why they do this sort of weird timeslots..

and i dun really mind going home in the afternoons.

the thing that ticks me are the long hours of school.

pretty ok for this sem cos only mon and tues would be long days..

heres my timetable.

oh ya i forgot 1 thing!

i got GEMS on wednesday so it will be going home at 3 i think instead of 12..

i wanna take something related to music lahh..

yay!

so happy we didn't go out today..

but looking on the dark side..lol

it was tiring..

people just kept flowing in.

my favourite little cuzzies came again!

weeee!

haha..

one of them..

her sister just wouldn't want her photo taken..

malu konon..

haha..

yeah i noe i hadn't mentioned about anything about fav cuzzies or wat..

well wat can i say..

i'm very secretive about things..

like wat lutfi always say "kau ni kwn sendiri pun nk secret-secret.".

haha lol...

but of cos i wouldn't be secretive about things i should i tell right..

i'm sane i noe wat to keep secret and wat not..

-_-.

ok maybe slightly insane. 

i had been thinking about this..

i wanna have a bigger social circle.

so i decided that i'll start being very close to my relatives even much more since its raya..

finding cousins of my age is so simple.

but the heck..

guess wat?

70% of them are girls!

damn it lerr..how to enlarge social circle like that aiyoo..

today my brother-on-law introduced our family to his biological family.

i was such in an anticipation to get to know more male cousins..

nt that i'm a sexist.

i kept thinking it would be male cousins 'cos i got this mentality that my bro-in-law's siblings would have most of them male kids.

since my bro-in-law's biological siblings are all males.

i was deadly mistaken haha!

guess how many male cousins i have from my bro-in-law side?

ok maybe its not male cousins but male cousin since there's only ONE!

yeah ONE!

the rest are all females.

zomg.

aiyoo.

haha.

but seriously my bro-in-law's biological family is so damn bloody big.

my place was so packed.

haha.

my bro-in-law told me that it is only half of it..

the rest will come another day..

i was like wow how cool.

aha i didn't say wtf ok.

oh and yeah pretty lovable timetable i got for this coming semester.

on fridays i will be going home at 10am!

OMG!

isnt it cool!

haha!

i just dislike praying at the mosque near SP.

tomorrow i will update about the timetable i got.

oh man i got to give in to my droppy eyes already.

*random*: my mum just wouldn't let me touch one of these from day 1 of hari raya till now. she said its only for kids..damn it.

i'm so glad i'm back in my room.

i really dun feel like going out for raya but somehow my dad manage to convince me.

lol.

some people told me u will get the raya spirit when raya comes.

but then i still dun have the "excited feeling".

i had been doing things that i will nvr do in the past.

example?

when i get green packets, i dump them either in my pocket or maybe if i'm happy enough i will put them in my wallet.

so either they are safe in my wallet or when i reach home i take out the packets from my pocket(wow rhymes!-_-) and dump them near my laptop.

lol.

now i got two separate places where my green packets are lying at.

am i different enough?

lol.

ironically i still wanna put raya songs at my blog.

seriously i'm relieved that we went to only one relative's house.

and oh no got an update..

tml would be a bloody long day damn it.

my mild fever and flu makes it worst.

haiz.

suddenly i wish school would start earlier.

and during the long trip (yeah from Bukit Panjang to Yishun) in the car just now..

suddenly i thought about rhythmn and lead guitarists.

haha i read somewhere that lead guitarists always get the most attention.

sometimes even stealing the attention supposed to be for the vocals.

not to mention rhythmn guitarst..

they were being sucked into the background..

just like bassists.

lol.

its kinda true though i've watched many concerts and yeah its kinda true lol.

no offence hafiz!

hehe..

well my objective of saying this is not to say i feel that Hafiz is being selfish..

HAHAHAH.

i just wanna say, as a rhythmn guitarist..

WE MUST BE PROUD TO BE RHYTHMN GUITARISTS!

LOL!

but seriously, who are lead guitarists without rhythmn guitarist?

we provide the backbone of the songs man!

LOL.

HAHAHHAHA jkjk Hafiz..

ur a nice person lol.

ok i'm done here.

and i feel like it.

so here comes my random trivia.

I don't like wearing baju kurung.

lol my father do know how to tick me off when he told me to wear it to raya.

haha so if i were to wear a t-shirt to Friday prayers or wat..

it either means i'm going somewhere after that or my father isn't with me.

heh.

BTW, i forgot.

I wanna apologise to people who i've hurt especially when i got more no-nonsense.

yeah especially Lutfi since you're close to me. 

heh.

EDITED: I felt a knife penetrate my heart. Haiz.

2nd day of raya.

we didn't go anywhere..

FUCK HELL YEAH!

ahahhaha so happy lol.

i'm still exhausted from yesterday lol.

my stamina sucks.

well i'm surprised that there are people coming to my place on the 2nd day..

usually it starts at the 3rd day.

so it was a day of AOE with my bro.

ok now i'm feeling affectionate..

HAHA!

lol weird..

i feel that i'm getting weird nowadays..

i just wanna have someone to share my feelings with..

well get wat i mean?

eheh.

i'm rather much envying my so naturally talented brother in this kind of things..

well maybe there's something that God has in place for me..

lol.

ok i'll just stop here.

i mean like "wth am i talking about?"

dad was funny today..

he watched this drama and apparently was too funny for him..

he rolled on the floor laughing..

SERIOUSLY.

like ROLFMAO.

yeah.

its kinda rare to see him doing this kind of stunts.

except for the time i saw this album all about when he was young.

i saw this picture.

him doing some stunts with his Ibanez.

he inspired me.

LOL.

well his guitar playing of cos..

nt his Afro hair.

i noe that this this had been said so many times..

and i know some people got enough of it..

haha but yeah i'll still say it.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone!

(:

oh ya random thing.

i hate people who goes "yea! i'm full of energy already after Ramadhan!"

its like as if you weren't always complaining/whining whatsoever even if its not Ramadhan..

alright so back to topic.

this year would be the first time we went to Orchard to do the Aidilfitri prayers.

and i bet this wouldn't be the first and last time.

the mosque is sooooo comfortable..

i really like the fact i can see a lot of Muslims coming from different races.

and yeah the females there they are so ZOMGBBQ!

lol.

and my hands got itchy so i took some pictures.

i'll start squealing when my dad do high speed curves like this haha.

Al-Falah Mosque, Orchard Road.

Though I don't like the fact that they start at 8.30am instead of 8am.

is the guy even sleeping? he looks dead to me!

The inside of the mosque..i love the interior a lot!

ok so somehow i was so bz playing and entertaining my cousins or whatever you call it..

and i stopped taking photos.

so yeah from this till the end it will be WORDS.

i won't go to detail about every house i go cos it won't make any significance..

so i'll just highlight some "important" events.

lol impt?

nk tipu ngan penipu.

i'm so glad i now know more about piano/keyboard theory.

in the past when i played it i read the music scores entirely from tabs.

like some sort of guitar tabs but these tabs are for piano/keyboards.

after see the book my cousin had been using for her piano lessons,

i realise it was so damn easy..

the only thing thats difficult is actually practice.

and also have to have good hand-eye coordination.

and yeah have to know the diff notes in bass and treble clef. 

then at the last house we went to,

i randomly asked my brother how he confessed to his girlfriend that he likes her..

guess whats his answer?

"huh? aku tk confess pompan tu yg ckp dier suke aku..aku accept or reject jek"

(translation: huh? i never did confess; the girl confessed to me instead..i just need to accept or reject")

i was like wtf! i wanna kill you bro!

it was an instant turn off.

my brother's just so blessed.

and now i'm left hanging.

haiz.

i shouldn't have asked him that question.

so yeah that's that.

my post for today.

i'm rather tired actually.

so nites everyone!

i didn't forget.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :D

sorry i couldn't get you anything like what your friend had..

I'M SOOO BROKE haiz..