two more days before i escape from home!
really really anticipating it.
i'm kinda tired of people looking over my shoulders and pretend that they care,
when all that they did was killing me by the second.
yeah not minutes, its seconds.

but it was pretty funny when my dad actually started teaching my sister's little brat colouring.
ok lah it isn't that funny, i felt a tinge of pity for him.
being taught by my father might be one of the last things people would wanna do.
but somehow, the devil side of me loved every moment of it.
lol i'm such an ass.
my evil side said "serve you right, now you know how much torture i went through".
the same goes when my dad taught my mother with quran recitals.
i was like "serve you right, now you know how annoying when you said that i'm lazy, when the fact is that dad is more of a torturer than a teacher."
lol i'm very jahat when it comes to this things.
i think if my dad were continue doing that to me when i was in upper sec, i would have hanged myself actually.
ok fuck he DID took away my computer.
but nah i don't think its counted.
i was at fault.
i think my dad believes that iron fist ruling is necessary to discipline his kids.
but well i guess nowadays he trusts me to study on my own.
haha another evil thought from me when i got the honours thingy.
i whispered to myself "there you idiot, you want good results? that right there in your face"
lol.
i'm really really really jahat.
i've told hui yin about my dad working from 8am to 10 am daily.
she was like so wow-ed by it.
just so i don't spoil her mood, i just agreed.
i wow-ed too.
but inside i was like, oh gosh you never thought how bad an idea it is when your dad chases you everywhere.
sorry hy that i lied to you.
urghhh sometimes i really wish all my secrets to be told to someone.
someone trustworthy and who understands me.

oh and just now he asked me whether i wanted to eat dinner with him or not.
i really didn't mean it, but i said "i got some revision to do, i'll eat later"
i totally didn't mean to make him angry.
lol.
i got a mini scolding after that.
haha.
"Well what you did to me in the past carved my into what I am now Ayah, someone who cares more about his book than having dinner with his dad"
but alas, i just didn't have the heart to say it out.

so yeap i said it.
started revision.
and i will make sure i give programming more time.
i don't want the dissapoinment again.
the fucking 79 marks i got for structured programming.
it sucks. really. dissapointing. i felt a knife in me when i saw it.
hmm but i have to say bouncing in the office chair when i'm stress did help.
haha i like the springy chair.
maybe i'll give the chair a name too.
hmmm. Arianne!
:D lovely name.
i really love German names.
i wish i can Germanise my children's names.
haha.

urghh need to start packing for the little escape.
"hmmm shirt done, 2 slim jeans, 1 regular fit jeans, zss pants...what more eh? OH SHIT I FORGOT UNDERWEAR"
i'm just not the person who really remember the little "details".
heh if you get what i mean.
lol.

something had been bugging me for a while actually.
i've always said to people i care about "in case you need someone to talk to, i will do my best to be there"
and i really meant it.
but sometimes, people give me some errr..how should i say..hmm unappreciative replies?
don't know if that is a suitable word.
haishhhh i got a feeling people don't really trust me ah.
not saying that everybody is being unappreciative.
so right now, i kept thinking to myself.
should i continue doing this or should i just don't give a damn about other people and mind my own business?
i wish someone can advice me on this, so that i can decide whats best.
urghh so much for being a socialite.
it sucks.

the damn screwed up socialite signing off.
cya people.