with much regret and heartbreak, i declare that I won't be using blogger anymore. arghhh! quit the melodrama.
I QUITTED BLOGGING ON BLOGGER. ahhh thats nicer. short and sweet.
that said, this blog will remain as it is for keepsake memories. maybe in the future my kids would know how stupid my post were. and how disagree-able my thoughts might be to some people. heh. so yeah, my new blog would be at http://twistedhandcuff.livejournal.com/. i wanted it to be ilovekuihtarts but alas, i think it might me sound like a retard if i were to use it.
oh and don't worry, nobody put me at knifepoint or gunpoint or rapepoint so that i switch to livejournal. heh. its just that i tend to always want to change my blog skin in blogger. switching to livejournal might curb this. MIGHT. heh.
cya blogger. thanks for the bloody rotating of my pictures which i don't need. all is SWELL. -_-.
just when i thought i could slack another day, the freaking Aircraft Fundamentals textbook stared at me in disdain. it did make me guilty. so i studied.
now i'm sick to my stomach seeing the book. thanks.
now i know what impacted me during the camp. its the avaibility of company that made my day. i really can't deny i'm a socialite now. :D
urghh i'm still missing the SPP camp. haha. didn't know it had that much impact on me. maybe its really true that the first impression is will be the most important. because i started hated camp when i went to this particular FO camp. urghh. bad memories. lol.
also i just realised that i actually broke some of the rules during camp. they kept emphasising that we shouldn't walk alone at night. but without realising it, i did just that. i think one of the reasons would be that i don't wanna trouble the people. because they were very tired of the activities, and i feel very selfish if i were to make them walk around with me. or maybe its because the only chance i can walk in the dark is when i'm alone? its pretty dissappointing that humans tend to walk in places with light. SP isn't a really creepy place actually. its a really nice place to be at night. the gentle breeze really calmed me down when i felt like shit. haha. well so i hope if any of the SPP seniors read this they would forgive me lol.
went to expo today with Kerrin. it was pretty boring considering the fact they said "Warning: You might have too much fun." fun my ass. lol. ok lah at least they give us food. haha. too much food to be more specific. sadly we can't get our resource pack aka goodie bag because they only started distributing it at 3.15. we weren't prepared to wait for 2 hours just for it.
in my opinion the only fun part was like when we were disturbing each other. for example sneering at her taking photos with my dslr. and at last without her realising initially, i got her potrait. it was damn funny how she reacted when she heard my loud shutter sound. lol.
alright all is well guys! love you guys. especially the SPP people. you guys rock my torn socks! woooot!!! ROCK ON BAYBEH!
its great to be back home, but at the same time i'm starting to miss all the people there. it was soooo much fun interacting with them. we don't even get tortured during the camp like how a particular club did.
ok so lets get the ball rolling.
a warning though. its a very long post. but i will try to post as much pictures as possible to at least make seem less wordy.
Day 1: it all started when i saw the familiar faces of SP Photographers. but i don't really talk much since i'm not that used to them since i had been inactive. soon more and more people came and more and more unfamiliar faces appeared. but soon everything changed in a good way. it was really surprising that we all can easily get together very well.
i have to admit that at times i was pissed with some of the people because we had to keep going from clubroom to bunk and then back to the bunk and then suddenly we need to take something again from the clubroom or from somewhere else. but i guess i have to understand that shit happens so i don't really mind actually. actually in fact it came with more bonding between us the helpers.
that day was also i think was the first time in 2 years i ran at such distance and speed. one of the GLs, Christina chased me because I wouldn't hold onto the plastic bag. lol. it was damn tiring.
ok so zoom zoom zoom(ceh mazda seh lol) to the nightwalk. this have to be considered day 2 since it started at 12 midnite. so yah...
Day 2: it was pretty draggy since my station was a pretty boring station. its just simply taking a picture that reveals a hanging ghost. ok lah maybe not that boring since its very interesting how real the ghost really looked. everyone who passed that station just would say "ohh ok. alright cya". only one guy said it was cool. hahaha. but like what i said again, i should be appreciative that they let me help out. so yeah i don't really mind. but actually i prefer the really scaring stations. haha. i envied it when i heard people screaming from other stations.
so basically this is how the picture would look like. sorry for the low quality since i used my 2mp phone camera to take picture of the DSLR screen.
i had to stay with her from 12 am to 5 am. shes a pretty quiet lady. :P
at around 6 am had subuh prayers and went straight to sleep after that.
i never thought i can easily fall asleep that fast.
haha obviously i'm soooo tired.
i said goodnight to everybody and before i get to realised anything the sun is already shining ony my face.
haha.
oh and haha too to my "goodnight".
i woke up with terrible cramps at my legs and shoulders.
definitely not PMS eh!
i think its because the day before we had to carry the huge speakers in preparation for Disco Night.
i really felt like shit and really didn't feel like smiling at all.
but knowing me, i can't stay un-smiley.
haha.
cramps started to go away at around 1pm when it was time for amazing race.
this was much more interesting than nightwalk.
i was paired up with a girl called Amanda to man the Minesweeper station.
a very fine partner she is.
before the deployment she made me style her hair.
i was like wth, i don't even care about my own hair.
lol.
she used my wax and i did some styling and tried to make her look gothic.
it was really gothic at first but soon after the wind spoil it.
haha uat penat jek.
so off we went drawing out the Minesweeper box.
and also did some decorations on the borders.
coincidentally i was wearing a shirt with a lot of cameras in it.
heres the pictures of out stations.
i like the camera drawings A LOT!
credits to her nice drawing and my shirt.
hahahaha.
at around 5 pm the games ended. they did some auctioning using their hard earned macaronis at the lecture theatre. sad thing i wasn't there to witness the funny period of time. poor Poo Siang whose leg hair got ripped and auctioned. lol.
at around 8 pm we went for telematch. it was damn funny and involved a lot of cheating. hahaha. i helped the group i was assistant-in-charge of to cheat. lol. alah i'm so very sure there are other groups doing the same thing. lol. while i'm not encouraging them to cheat, i'm holding their flag wacking people who comes near them to disturb the balloons. lol. a really nice group to be with. after that we washed up to get ready for the ultimate thing. DISCO NIGHT!!! hahaha. lets zoooooooooooooom again to the climax! :D
Day 3: it was time for disco night. it was the best moment of the whole camp. everyone seemed to enjoy it soooo much. at first the freshies were fooled into believing that the disco night was really cancelled because something happened to the turntable. the more funny thing was that some helpers also thought that the turntable mishap actually happened.
so all the surprises happened. Badriyah told me she really thought something bad happened to the turntable. lol. so cute lah the guys. we had so much fun during the night.
everyone started very conservative, not a lot danced. Badriyah, Karil, Wen yu and me were at the back just watched them have fun. then suddenly we all were up front with other people who are "clubbing". i got wilder when Karil went off to sleep. hahahah. i climbed onto the table with another helper called Zul and danced on it. everybody was laughing like mad. soon a lot more people started climbing on the tables there. other period of times would see me dancing with the other SPP helpers and GLs. i liked the time when i duetted with a GL called Shu Ping. haha. soooo funny and wild. very very very nice and pleasant people they are. oh and i got chased again by Christina at the Disco Night venue. this time i gave up running and she caught up with me. lol. at last we danced together. haha.
here's a short clip on how the room looked like with the PA systems and lighting.
really really fun. i really enjoyed myself.
so like the day before we went to sleep at around 6am. had some conversations with Badriyah and three other guys, with some uproar of laughter. after that everyone drifted to sleep. and then suddenly it was time for me to go home. if only today wasn't friday then i would stay until 2 pm. haiz. basically i'm missing the guys already. i can't wait to meet them again.
the favourite person that i love to tease is actually an Indian guy called Param. i will got "where's Param? (wait for a few seconds) more?". haha get it? Param-more? Paramore? haha. very evil me.
less than 12 hours! omg omg i'm hyperventilating. haha. i really need to get out of the house and have a sleepover somewhere. i'm all geared up and ready to go. only missing one apparel. don't care ah. :p
but how to go with my damn short hair. aiyoo i hate it when i get a haircut. it sucks. serve me right for trusting more than one human being into touching my hair. lol.
today was well pretty better than average. went to malaysia to do the usual grocery shopping. also had pizza at Pizza Hut. urggh whats wrong with me isn't it so obvious. also meant more photography. though i kinda restricted myself to where i can take my camera out. i hope at least somebody would know what i mean. haha. ok so from 48 pictures i took. i only liked 18. rofl! i'm really really picky. i think i just annoyed my mum when she said she liked some of the pictures but i still threw them away. haha. well if she still seem annoyed till tomorrow, i will recover the RAW files from the recycle bin. hee.
EDIT: fucking hell blogger got disconnected. i'm soooo lazy to upload already. i'll just post a shot. haha. A PAPARAZZI SHOT! hahaha. this is not the nicest picture i took though. i really wanna share but fucking blogger won't allow me to.
can't wait for saturday. gonna be out with Kerrin to expo for YOG. weee! lets do some catching up. miss that girl a lot.
two more days before i escape from home! really really anticipating it. i'm kinda tired of people looking over my shoulders and pretend that they care, when all that they did was killing me by the second. yeah not minutes, its seconds.
but it was pretty funny when my dad actually started teaching my sister's little brat colouring. ok lah it isn't that funny, i felt a tinge of pity for him. being taught by my father might be one of the last things people would wanna do. but somehow, the devil side of me loved every moment of it. lol i'm such an ass. my evil side said "serve you right, now you know how much torture i went through". the same goes when my dad taught my mother with quran recitals. i was like "serve you right, now you know how annoying when you said that i'm lazy, when the fact is that dad is more of a torturer than a teacher." lol i'm very jahat when it comes to this things. i think if my dad were continue doing that to me when i was in upper sec, i would have hanged myself actually. ok fuck he DID took away my computer. but nah i don't think its counted. i was at fault. i think my dad believes that iron fist ruling is necessary to discipline his kids. but well i guess nowadays he trusts me to study on my own. haha another evil thought from me when i got the honours thingy. i whispered to myself "there you idiot, you want good results? that right there in your face" lol. i'm really really really jahat. i've told hui yin about my dad working from 8am to 10 am daily. she was like so wow-ed by it. just so i don't spoil her mood, i just agreed. i wow-ed too. but inside i was like, oh gosh you never thought how bad an idea it is when your dad chases you everywhere. sorry hy that i lied to you. urghhh sometimes i really wish all my secrets to be told to someone. someone trustworthy and who understands me.
oh and just now he asked me whether i wanted to eat dinner with him or not. i really didn't mean it, but i said "i got some revision to do, i'll eat later" i totally didn't mean to make him angry. lol. i got a mini scolding after that. haha. "Well what you did to me in the past carved my into what I am now Ayah, someone who cares more about his book than having dinner with his dad" but alas, i just didn't have the heart to say it out.
so yeap i said it. started revision. and i will make sure i give programming more time. i don't want the dissapoinment again. the fucking 79 marks i got for structured programming. it sucks. really. dissapointing. i felt a knife in me when i saw it. hmm but i have to say bouncing in the office chair when i'm stress did help. haha i like the springy chair. maybe i'll give the chair a name too. hmmm. Arianne! :D lovely name. i really love German names. i wish i can Germanise my children's names. haha.
urghh need to start packing for the little escape. "hmmm shirt done, 2 slim jeans, 1 regular fit jeans, zss pants...what more eh? OH SHIT I FORGOT UNDERWEAR" i'm just not the person who really remember the little "details". heh if you get what i mean. lol.
something had been bugging me for a while actually. i've always said to people i care about "in case you need someone to talk to, i will do my best to be there" and i really meant it. but sometimes, people give me some errr..how should i say..hmm unappreciative replies? don't know if that is a suitable word. haishhhh i got a feeling people don't really trust me ah. not saying that everybody is being unappreciative. so right now, i kept thinking to myself. should i continue doing this or should i just don't give a damn about other people and mind my own business? i wish someone can advice me on this, so that i can decide whats best. urghh so much for being a socialite. it sucks.
the damn screwed up socialite signing off. cya people.
in a good way of course. haha. i went home to the voice of my father saying that SP sent a letter for OITP. i was thrilled. but at the same time i thought, where to get 3k more. haha. well i guess if my father let me go i will do my best. if he can't pay for it, i will still work hard.
and also had a pretty memorable conversation with Aida. ok lah at first it isn't actually nice. fuck my immature past. nothing better to do eh? glad that i left it there and didn't bring it with me.
talking with one of the major people in my life was really refreshing. the past weeks had been pretty bad(though i didn't really admit), and having that conversation kinda dispelled the "down-into-the-ocean" situations i had been experiencing pretty much all this while. the thoughts that distracted me, that made me go "huh sorry i didn't hear what you just asked/said", that made me(as much as i hated) break down, moodswing etc etc. some parts of the conversation was actually pretty funneh while it was awkward. haha. really missed the times when occasionally she would argue when i say something in madrasah. i will raise my eyebrows and if i got something to say i will say it out loud, else i will just shut my pie holes up. haha. AWWWW THANK A VERY WARM YOU LAH EH AIDA. haha ok maybe a very cooling one since the weather's hot. heh.
feeewwwweeeeeeeetttt! haha. HOLIDAYS! wooot. ok like i told siva just now. today i think of holidays, but tomorrow i have no choice but to think of mst already. mst in 3 weeks time. its gonna be fast.
alright so to summarise about this week. some parts of it was horrible, like what happened yesterday. some parts of it was really wonderful. haha. actually i really love life because of its imperfections. having everything too perfect is just a fairytale.
now that the holidays are here. everyone went to their separate ways. siva and nigel going back malaysia. haiz. gonna miss them a lot. hmm but looking on the brighter side,next week would probably be exciting. tuesday would be a trip to malaysia buying things. then on wed to friday, it would be SP Photographers FO camp. and i'm gonna help out. woooot.haha big deal rahman? i really love the planning for the night walk. haha. then after that would be YOG meeting. then after that our family might be going for a little trip to malaysia again to visit some relatives. so lucky that my dad didn't plan a shopping holiday. i wouldn't have the mood to shop knowing i wouldn't have enough time to study.
hmm so i guess tomorrow i will be starting on Aircraft Electrical Fundamentals. since i'm going to my sister's house and it is the thinnest book. lol.
now gonna post some pictures that was taken this past week.
INTRODUCING ANALEIGH!!! haha this would be the first time my little dear gets featured here.
Jolene looks like a little kid who saw a camera for the first time. hah.
i like this picture. and the picture taken by the camera. i posted the picture a few posts back.
"the super powerful photo when viewed big" haha.
i'm done here for now.
all is swell, guys!
:D
urghh suddenly i remembered about the three project that needs completion.
FREAKING YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 2 LAB TEST DOWN!!! woooooooooooooooot! slacking time!!! wooohoooo i bet tml i will be so slacky. haha. i'm really in a holiday mood already. i really really need the holidays.
but still i got to keep my head up for MST. gotta study real hard. i don't what happened during my MST1 in year 1 to happen again. so HAFIZ! STUDY DATE YA! hahaha.
alright so highlights for today. had mct lab at around 1pm. it was ok i guess. if everything goes well, insya allah all the marks might be mine. for servo, hmm not sure about it. haiz. i hate it when i can't even score for a pathetic lab test. fine its difficult, but imo its just me not trying hard enough. damn.
after servo, we had a little meetup to make a decision for our CRS presentation. haha i didn't call Jolene to come cos she's already playing pool at Moberly, i just don't want to disturb her. well i think its better if i didn't call her over. something pretty big happened. and we had to cut short the meeting. well i just have to say that i am to be totally blamed for what happened. i got frustrated and angry till i didn't realise i'm causing others to be affected by it. haiz why must i overreact? is it because i'm frustrated? stressed out? nah i have no excuses, i just followed my emotions too much. i'm such a selfish person. how the fuck can i make someone teary. what a pile of shit i just did. i'm sorry and i'll make up for it. this i promise you. :)
skipping GEMs today was pretty worthwhile. i've got a whole lot more time to study for the two lab tests tomorrow. gosh i'm scared and nervous shitless. microcontroller technology and aircraft servomechanism. the two subjects that had been bugging me since day one of year 2. and now guess what? i'm going to do lab tests for the two modules in less than 10 hours. yeah i said it right, the two damned modules in one day. i'm so lucky to have someone to share my nervousness/frustration with. gosh. i'm really scared! and getting 2 questions wrong for the programming quiz just now didn't make me feel better. wth is wrong with me, there's only 10 questions and still i can't get all correct. worst still its MCQ. fuck the 20 mins time limit too.
practiced for servo just now. at one point of time i got so stressed out and frustrated at someone(sorry can't reveal). i really felt like exploding or what. but suddenly i was like how the hell should i explode? just kick something? in the end, because i don't really know how to express my frustation, i just threw my pen on the table and slumped in my chair. and put on the pissed look. until now i kept thinking about the fact that i can't get angry. it sucks. sometimes being angry relieves people of frustration. so basically i'm doomed because i don't know how to.. dumbfuck.
urghhh i hope everything goes well tomorrow. after tomorrow its gonna be slack day. but i still have to study for MST. SHITFACE. urgghhhhhh. i need to bring my camera tomorrow. i will totally need it.
don't really have a topic to talk about today. so i think i will just post the convo between me and Nigel about some things. lol. that guy really is getting less shy now. who taught him? YOURS TRULY. :D
Me: shit lah fb chat Me: cannot connect my ass Me: haha Me: i was saying Me: i go proces ur picture now Me: specially for my new "Singaporean" friend (basically he got offered a PR last 2 weeks ago haha) Me: hehe Nigel: cha ni lo.. (cha ni is actually insert in chinese. haha i randomly learnt a new chinese word almost everyday) Nigel: joking joking Nigel: haha Me: HAHHA Me: insert what thing! Nigel: insert into ur tuuuuuuuuuuu Nigel: LOL Me: hahaha Me: eh cool Me: 90 pictures (this part was about when he asked me how many pictures i took in school on that day) Me: the 30 more actually from my other shoots Me: so from 90 pictures Me: i threw away 10 Me: woooot Me: improve Me: today i really in shooting form Nigel: haha.. great :) so u will bring ur cam tmr again?? Me: see first Me: lol Nigel: haha Me: i need to cha ni my battery grip into the camera Me: sure heavy later Me: haha Nigel: LOL . . . . Me: SEE MY NICK! (Referring to my 2nd nick "Wo cha ni my battery grip into my camera! :D") Me: lol Nigel: where?? Me: the other nick Nigel: u mean "today my photographing......." is it?? Me: yup Me: lol Nigel: LOL lo Nigel: haha Me:hahaha
haha its really clear how different our personalities are right? i'm like so talkative and lol and haha here and there. other the other hand, Nigel is more relaxed and well more reserved. so yah i think this topic should be titled, "The Art Of Personalities in MSN" hehe.
/*cout<< endl; */ why the sudden programming lang rahman? hehe COS I GOT A BLOODY PROGRAMMING QUIZ THE NEXT DAY! oh and i have to put */ because blogger really thought i'm typing c++ codes. lol.
2 labtests on thurs. urggghh. cya GEMs. go and die. :p
first of all. thanks hui yin. i really needed that. i'm so glad to have you by my side. in the sense having you as a friend close by. :D i'm sorry that i got distracted so easily. i know its frustrating for you to talk to me, then after that suddenly i turn to you and say, huh what did you say? i can't help it. can't stop thinking about things. i promise i will not be like that soon enough. i really hope. but it was surprising when you said that i kept saying "my life is horrible" from last week. haha i seriously didn't realise i said that. hmmph. well maybe it really is.
ok so today as per normal. was fun with the guys who are always looking out for each other. siva did some mischivieous things with my camera. haha my little darling Analeigh. feel so sad for her. i knew that siva had always wanted to take a picture of this girl. lol it was funny how excited he is when he saw her and kept on giving some signals about his intention of using my camera. lol. he's clever to make Jolene take the photo to make it less obvious. but i swear to god how obvious it is when she pointed the camera. haha. the girl realised it so she told her friend. they suddenly turned around and eye-d me. i was like wth i'm so innocent.
a lot more potraits by yours truly. today i was really in form. haha. the photos turned out to be very nice. i like this particular picture of Jolene. its a really powerful picture.
erm ok somehow it didn't look that powerful when view small. anyway this was supposed to be a picture when Jolene pretends to be an old lady wearing her specs low. you can actually see my camera in her eyes. lol. i was post processing ok, so its easy to notice everything.
then during CRS we had to decide on what topic on what we should debate on. that was when i suddenly turned super silent. i mean like its just me that i tend to shut my pie holes up when i think. and they think that i'm being emotional. someone even said "what are problems of teenagers nowadays? They tend to moodswing a lot." it felt as if a knife actually stabbed my heart when i heard that. urghh. people still dont understand me i guess. well nvm i'll just keep how i feel to myself and not let it out. i guess they need more time. anyway its useless for me to say it out anyway. people will just say that i have a sucky attitude and that i only care about my feelings. so yah. basically that's what i'm trying to say all this while. pfft.
