what my father told me really made me sit down in front of my laptop..
and stare into blank space, deep in thoughts.
he said "Why are you treating this house like a hotel? You're always in your bedroom."
i wish i could just say my opinions out loud.
but like always, i always avoid arguments as much as i can.

i think i will just type the reasons in here and keep it to myself.
well if somehow they happened to read it.......

1st reason: i myself actually noticed it, since i the day my sister moved out of the house and i shifted rooms.
a room ALL by myself.
it does felt awkward at first, without all the late night conversations with my brother,
all the hysterical laughter we had that woke mum up.
but soon, as weeks go by,
i don't miss these things anymore.
i'm used to it.
or is it that i'm getting more independent, taking control of my life instead of being influenced easily.
so back to the point, the reason is that actually i find my room really comfortable.
its big enough to be a living room, dining room, study room, bedroom and a kitchenette for someone as small as me.
toilet is only about 4 feet away from the door.
i find peace being all by myself, without the voices of other people polluting my mind.
also i got everything i need in my room.
i will elaborate this later in the 3rd reason.

2nd reason:
ok this might be pretting surprising/shocking for some people.
but i prefer darkness than light.
not that i hate light.
just that i tend to go to darkness more.
so basically the living room is always full of light, especially from the sun.
its been a while since i considered the living room a skylight room.
the sun, as seen from the windows, is at the same level as the living room's glass panels.
light will be shone directly into directly into the area.
hence the nickname skylight room by me.
not the most appropiate nickname but i think that's the closest.
living "in-the-sky" isnt great at all to be frank.
its full of light.
so thats actually the reason i tend to avoid the living room.
with the exception of nights or during raining months when it would be prefectly dark and cool.

how does my lovely room look like?
hmm. it looks dark and spooky.
yup positive on that.
when my other family members close curtains in the night, i close them in the day.
and have it wide open during the night.
i love the view of the night sky from my bed.
its really cool to sometimes have moonlight shine throught my window.
yup moonlight. i love them. again not saying that i hate sun's light.
just that i prefer moonlight.
perfect Twilight setting.
theres also sometimes a single start in the sky at the same exact spot everytime.
ok maybe not that exact.
but still i can spot it easily.
i gave it a german name, Arianne.
i would love to take a photo of it,
but i just couldn't,
cos i need a damn long range lens.
even if i were to have it, i still need a tripod.
just so that i can have a slow shutter speed without blurred images.

the artificial lighting in my room is also positioned in a way its biased to one side of the room.
the part of the room i would least likely to be at.
so basically the place i'm always at is pretty dim.
the lighted part is usually where i do experiments and soldering.
yeah i do some experiments people won't think i would do.
i'm not a really easy person to figure out, nor am i that difficult.
my room is painted brown for the same reason,
to make the room dark.
i wanted to paint gray, but dad wouldn't allow it.
well.
brown sure darkened my room a lot.
and i'm happy with it.
i love my room the way it is.
i get pissed when my room had to been given up to visitors.
i have to say, i don't really like my brother's bedroom.
also the different smell.
i'm not being selfish, i'm paranoid.
i wouldn't like it when i hear people comment about how eerie my room is.

i guess i will stop at the 2nd reason today.
i will continue on the 3rd and last reason tomorrow.
have fun in the darkness. :)
with love, friends and Arianne. :D