lutfi and me are now undergoing talks about well...my life.
it isn't a really happy conversation.
my heart is aching now.
i know i am ready to move on.
but leaving her just like that is just so...painful.

its like i'm going to be back to square one.
i screwed up everything.
it had been weeks.
its been a painful experience for me to be true.
i might be smiling sincerely but deep down inside, i'm actually thinking of how to patch up the pieces i screwed up.
but well, now i'm so sure i wouldn't be able to mend it.
its like a stage 4 cancer.
nothing can be done to save this.

urghhh.
i suck.
i suck.
i suck.
i suck.
.
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..